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Reset Pram and SMC, update the OS, install a solid state boot drive in place of the DVD drive...
Then throw it in the bin and buy a new one.
#macfixes
With my Air, I can snap it shut, it goes into sleep mode and it's raring to go when next opened (as long as I remember to shut down Safari).
Do that with the Pro and the battery always drains, even in sleep mode. This leads to Bobby-esque fuming at how long it takes to fire up (albeit it's still much better than Windows).
Any tips on that?